For many older singles in a committed relationship, this means cosy evenings, leafy walks & the warmth of spending Christmas & New Year celebrations with a loved one.
But for numerous older singles, it means another year of long, lonely evenings, & the emptiness of going through Christmas & New Year without a special someone in their life!
Autumn’s the Time to Open Your Heart: Start Dating After Divorce or Loss.
rediscovering dating & finding hope after divorce
Johns’ Journey
After being married for 30 years, starting over at 66 felt really daunting. I wasn’t sure where to begin or whether I even wanted to. For a long time, I told myself I’d wait until I was 'ready,' but that time never seemed to come. The loneliness was especially hard during the festive season, and I knew deep down I wanted companionship again. In late 2023, I made the choice to stop waiting and take control of my situation. With the help of a friend, I set up my first-ever online dating profile. It felt strange at first, but I kept reminding myself that I wasn’t the only one starting over.
The more I connected with others, the easier it became. By the time Christmas arrived, I had gone on a few dates and even started seeing someone. We were both in similar situations and enjoyed each other’s company throughout the festive season. It was lovely to have someone in my life again. However, by February of 2024, it became clear that we weren’t a perfect long-term match. We decided to part ways romantically, but we’ve remained friends. That experience taught me a lot about what I’m truly looking for in a serious relationship.
I struggled with online dating because it felt like a numbers game, and I realised I needed a more personal approach - so recently I joined Select Connections and now, I’m excited to find someone who shares my values and is ready for a committed relationship.
Six essential tips to make autumn the start of something new!
No.1 | Acknowledge you’re ready for something new: |
The first step in making an active decision to date again is acknowledging that you’re ready for it. After a divorce or bereavement, it’s natural to feel uncertain but take a moment to reflect on what you want moving forward. If you’re feeling lonely or craving companionship, it’s a sign that you’re ready to let someone new into your life. The decision to try is often the hardest step. | |
No.2 | Release the guilt or fear: |
It’s common to carry guilt or fear when re-entering the dating world after a long relationship. Allow yourself permission to move on—your past relationship or loss doesn't define your future. Talk through your feelings with a friend or even a counsellor if needed, so you can move forward without unnecessary emotional baggage weighing you down. | |
No.3 | Set realistic expectations & pace yourself: |
Deciding to date again doesn’t mean you have to rush into anything. Set small, achievable goals, like looking into what dating platform suits your needs or accepting one coffee invitation. Be kind to yourself and recognise that dating is a process. It’s okay to go slow, but commit to taking at least one proactive step each week—whether it’s messaging someone, attending a social event, or trying a new activity. | |
No.4 | Identify what you want in a partner: |
Clarifying your values, needs, and what you want in a partner helps you move forward with intention. Write down what qualities are important to you now in this stage of life, whether that’s companionship, humour, or shared hobbies. This reflection can help you focus on the right people and prevent wasting time on situations that don’t align with your goals. Always allow room for flexibility and adjustments to your dating approach. | |
No.5 | Join communities that align with your interests: |
Find communities or activities where you can meet people who share your interests. Whether it's through an online platform, a local book club, or an outdoor walking group, surrounding yourself with like-minded people increases your chances of meeting someone organically. Making an active decision to seek companionship means stepping out of your everyday routine and getting involved in things that excite you. | |
No.6 | Trust the process and stay positive: |
After a significant loss or change, it can be easy to feel discouraged if things don’t happen quickly. However, trust that the right person is out there and that, by putting yourself out there, you are creating the opportunity for a fulfilling relationship. Stay positive and remember that every date or conversation is a step closer to finding someone special—even if the results aren’t immediate. |
Don’t wait for the new year to start making changes—begin your journey toward finding meaningful companionship today!
Whether it’s drafting your first dating profile, researching events you could book onto, or simply reaching out, the time to act is now.
Take charge of your future and embrace the opportunity to find someone special this winter & festive season.
Start now and give yourself the gift of companionship and connection by Christmas!
Jacqui Baker Over 50s Dating Mentor & Bespoke Marchmaker
Select-connections
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