Navigating the world of dating can be a rollercoaster at any age, but for those of us over 50 with ADHD, it's a ride that comes with its own set of challenges and thrills.
As someone who’s recently been on this journey and works as a dating mentor, I’m here to share some tips and personal insights to help you stay focused and productive while embracing the dating scene.
Embracing the Diagnosis
A few months ago I discovered that I have ADHD. This revelation was a game-changer, providing clarity on so many aspects of my life. Public awareness about ADHD is growing, but misconceptions still linger, particularly about how it affects adults.
When to Share Your ADHD
One of the first hurdles is deciding when to disclose your ADHD to a potential partner.
ADHD affects everyone differently—your symptoms may be mild or significant. Here’s what I recommend:
Pace Yourself: There's no need to rush into sharing everything. Wait until you feel comfortable.
Practice Makes Perfect: Rehearse what you want to say with a trusted friend to build confidence.
Keep It Brief: Start with a straightforward explanation and offer resources for further reading if they’re interested.
Staying Engaged
ADHD can make it tough to stay focused during dates. Here are a few techniques that have worked wonders for some of my clients:
Active Listening: Pay close attention and look for nonverbal cues. This helps keep you engaged in the conversation.
Reminders: Use notes or phone alerts to keep track of commitments. It shows reliability and keeps you on track. (I used to be late for everything)!
Prioritise: Focus on one or two changes at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Setting Boundaries & Prioritising Safety
Establishing boundaries is crucial. It creates a secure and comfortable environment for both parties. Here’s what I recommend:
Highlight Your Strengths: Your creativity and energy are assets! They can make you even more charming.
Safety First: Always prioritise safety, especially with online dating. Meet in public places and tell a friend where you’re going.
Seek Professional Help If Needed
If dating feels particularly challenging, don’t hesitate to seek therapy from a counsellor who specializes in ADHD. They can provide tailored coping strategies.
Conclusion
With some planning and the right techniques, dating over 50 with ADHD can be a fulfilling adventure. Embrace your unique qualities, be open about your journey, and remember that meaningful connections are within reach.
Enter the dating scene with a little self-awareness and preparation can go a long way.
Happy dating!
To help you implement these tips, here’s a downloadable worksheet you can use to organise your thoughts and plan your dating strategy.
Jacqui Baker @select-connections
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